Going the Wrong-Way in the Grocery Store

slice of lifeAm I the only one?  I feel like I am the only one that routinely gets caught circling the grocery store, unable to escape.  Allow me to explain.

On a recent trip to the store I needed a card, bread, a can of soup and pet food.  A really easy, simple trip, one would imagine, and yet I circled by the same bewildered stock person at least three times.

I picked out the card first.  This was a bit of a hassle because their selection was too good.  They had a card for every possible circumstance and I didn’t really know that many details but I eventually found a suitable generic yet sincere sympathy card.

Then I went to the pet food.  No problems there.  With two cats anytime I am out where I can pick up more food I do.  Onward to get bread.  Now, I live alone and feel very guilty about wasting food, so I have almost quit buying loaves of bread because I can’t possibly finish the bread before it molds.  But I was craving a grilled ham and cheese so I had to have bread.  On the way from pet food to bread I passed the refrigerated section.  I saw the cheese and thought, when was the last time I used cheese?  It may have been a while, better get some more.   Feeling happy I thought of that I march on and realize I have completely missed the bread aisle.  In my defense, the bread used to be more toward the front of the store, but then I should disclose that was probably three years ago.  Oh, the bakery is close, maybe I will find suitable bread in the bakery.  Onward, a great loaf of bread in my cart.  Oh yes, back to the soup.  At least it is only one aisle away.  Can of tomato soup and a spare.

But wait, I’m not done.  I make tomato soup with milk.  Not only have I quit buying loaves of bread because they go bad, but I have also quit buying half gallons of milk, because they go bad.  Milk is on the other end of the store near the cheese as you might imagine.  So back I go again.  The same earnest employee I told I didn’t need help the last time by is still there, at least he didn’t even offer assistance this time.  It is obvious that I am a lost cause.

But as I walk back toward the front to check out I wonder why no one else ever seems caught in the vortex.


One thought on “Going the Wrong-Way in the Grocery Store”

  1. I plan my trips to the grocery like a hostage rescue. The Publix app names the aisles for all the items I’ve added (not that after 16 years I don’t know where everything is anyway), and then I get in and out before someone I know tries to talk to me.

    The only exception is when the Apron’s Kitchen stand has something that smells really good, so then I orbit two aisles until it’s done so I can have some.

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